hi whoever's out there.... its me again... its really interesting but it dawns to me the fact that whenever i write my diary or blogging is when i start feeling cranky and depressed.... sigh... its always the same old syptoms... gnawing at the heart etc....

i feel lost .. really... my love.. my light... my existence seem to hinge on one girl now.... its amazing how she can affect my mood so drastically.... oh well... what can i say....
maybe she's just hungry yea?? then starts filling a different personna..... oh well.... anyways... i think she's an exceptional lady.... truly fantastic.... she just told me about her interview which i think she did superbly for.... (but she thinks otherwise) truly i think she needs to have more faith in herself... perphaps the environment has shaped her to have unfounded doubts... sigh.... ( like mine?? - damn why does everyone seem to have a perfect childhood yea? )

i try to keep my mind positive on everything.... becos i have learnt since i was young not to depend on anyone.... if i want something really badly.... i either fight for it or i let it go.... there's no two ways about life.... - irrevalent material here

Anyways.... when i sms her and talk to her.... well... maybe i just expect her to be more responsive.... if she doesnt want to talk or its not convenient... then i expect her to sound off.... but then... maybe she's just hungry.. as i stated before.... sounding distant and just not right.... one of those days.... sigh... should i just shrug me shoulders and forget about it??? and pray somehow that fri and sat will be that much better.... i hope so.... sigh.... i really hope so....